Where I live, each household has one representative allowed to go out to purchase food or medicine. This designated person is given a  quarantine pass issued by the local government. In our family, this person is me. 

While we are all on isolation, each one of us has our own stories to share, both serious and funny on virtual communication during this period of social distancing. What I appreciate the most are private group chats and private messages. You see, I grew up under the generation of fax machines and analog telephones. I feel grateful that in this time and age, technology allows us to obtain information while keeping in touch with family and friends living far away.  

The year end is similar to this sunset, beautiful, yet quick to end. 2019 has been a kind yet imperfect year. There were conquered obstacles and many travels, but there were also losses that reminded us how our time here on earth is so fleeting. I lost an important figure who made a big impact in my childhood life.  We also just moved to this new coastal town where we immediately felt right at home.  

How ironic that I am posting this here. After almost 2 months of being away from IG and FB, my phone gallery has been empty for quite a while. 

Writing has given me solace growing up. Stacks of notebooks that were my journals filled the bedroom that I shared with my sisters.  They guided me, giving sense to the intense feelings I was experiencing at a young age, whilst facing a challenging childhood.   I kept them all in there within the pages of my diaries (most of which I have already discarded) while revealing these struggles only to a few, for fear of being judged, misunderstood before I could truly understand them all myself. 

Happy Chinese New Year to those celebrating it!  Yay, Year of the Pig eh?  It has been more than a week since I have taken a vacation from Facebook and Instagram.  I am presently enjoying the silence. 

Do you remember when I posted 30 Days of Positive Thinking Challenge last year?  

Here's what happened.

There was a major shift in my life since I completed this challenge, not only for 30 Days but I kept at it for 3 months before 2018 ended. 

While I'm typing this, I am watching the coconut trees sway and dance in the wind from my window. 2018 pretty much taught me the same thing, how to acclimate.  I learned to stop fighting the current and went with the flow. I learned to accept things as they are. Thus, I finally found my home here in Cebu. Nope not a house (not yet, at least), but a state where I feel connected.  

Hello everyone!

This is a journey that I have started sometime ago.  

The Challenge of Positivity's goal is to practice letting go of Ego, to nurture kindness, to harness gratitude, all of which combined leads to happiness, joy, and peace.  

The whole practice is fueled by love. Love for the self, love for others and love for the Divine and all of His Creation. 

I have just turned 40.  Yes, the much dreaded big 4-0. I was consumed by the blues, days leading up to my birthday. Hence, my absence on the blog.  I felt a sense of panic and a feeling of utmost emptiness for the lack of accomplishment. The life I had envisioned for myself is nowhere near what reality shows me now. 

During my birthday month, I'll be writing about personal stories and reflections.  I  thought about the questions that followed me everywhere since I gained consciousness, to better understand our existence in this world. 

In search for answers, I found solace and nuggets of wisdom in books. So I have made a list of books that shaped me throughout the years:

The contents of one's bag reveal so much about a person. I can't necessarily claim I can't live without these items. Yet, you will see how my lifestyle has been altered when I compared them with previous posts;  such as, what's inside my beach bag when I was still living in Dubai and my hand carry luggage during a 4-day trip to Prague.

It was definitely sheer bliss. We were on a one month road trip to explore New Zealand last December. Hence, my silence on the blog. 

When I attended a meditation course many many years ago, we, along with my siblings were invited to sing this song in public.  With my sister, Allu playing the guitar, we used to imagine we were the Von Trapps. Oh, how I miss them!

It was written and composed by one of the members of this meditation center.  I wish I knew his or her name so I could acknowledge the credits here. 

This song changed my life. Literally, changed my life. 

I clung to a man as we rode on the motorcycle.  Sun streamed on the edges of every foliage that left them glowing in amber.  The wind brought a distinct scent. The tarmac road bent, leading to a sharp curve.  There's a growing gentle chanting of cicadas and my instinct, in all its clarity, knew this is home. 

This was a recurring dream from my childhood that made me travel the world.

"Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth." 

Mike Tyson

I almost spit my coffee, while I stifled imploding laughter when I came across this quote because it's so true!  

We all have received several life punches.  Mine would include family separations and drama that would be a cool pitch for a telenovela script.  

Financial rock bottom made me stand up clapping with inspiration when I watched Will Smith in Pursuit of Happyness. 

We weren't always like that. I was born in a middle-class family, but my Dad suddenly passed away and my Mom left her high-income job shortly after and was unemployed since. I am the eldest of five children. I was barely out of college and I was definitely not prepared when everything suddenly came crashing down. But this change is an example of one of life's punches.

"When in doubt, eat Tapsilog"

Haha, that's my attempt in being funny today.  (Tapsilog is a popular Filipino breakfast, a plate of marinated beef with fried rice and sunny side up egg)

I will be honest. My friend, the repatriation blues has re-visited me quite often lately. 

Sometimes I wonder, what if I had the chance to warn myself in 2015 before leaving Dubai and coming home to the Philippines for good? These are the words I'm going to tell her:

Dear Self,

If you look closely at this picture, each tree, wildflower and natural element was created uniquely. Each has a distinct quality and a purpose. When they are all combined together, a beautiful masterpiece is formed. The absence of one will affect the overall essence, beauty, function and composition. The balance shifts. 

After years of reflection and hard experiences, I gather, this is what life is all about. We all have a role to play. 

Harry S. Truman once quoted, “There is no limit to what can be accomplished if it doesn’t matter who gets the credit.”  What a wonderful world this would be if we all combine our talents for the social good. Imagine a world where we'll help each other reach our fullest potential. 

A choice we always need to make, to dance and convene with what life has in store for us, or connive to create havoc for personal gain.

Sadly, the first option isn't always the case. Ruthless egoistic greed exists out there. 

I always believe that life  keeps a record of every thing and no one really gets away with anything.

Familiar with the law of karma, the law of cause and effect?

There's always a price to pay for every deed that no Hail Marys and penance at the confessional can erase. It's inescapable.

I was privileged to have witnessed as a third party spectator countless consequences that swept over acquaintances and enemies who took advantage of others.

How unexplainable misfortune beyond their control met them, in different aspects of their lives in an unexpected fashion,, despite all of their careful planning.  

"Time & Circumstances can change at any time. Don't de-value or hurt anyone in life. You may be powerful today. But remember, time is more powerful than you."

What we sow is what we reap indeed. 

For this path leads to happiness and fulfillment. 

A road less traveled because it requires strength and courage to do good and be good.

Cheers to a beautiful life.

Love & light,

Arni